Three Terrible Ideas Involving Lesbians, Vampires, and Lennons

Hey, Let's Remake a Hitchcock!
While some of us enjoyed Gus Van Sant's maligned Psycho (1998) experiment in "recreation" (hey, it's more honest than "reboot") -- generally we're forgiving of artistic experiments in comparison to parasitic cash-grabs --  remaking Hitchcock movies is never a good idea in the strictest sense of the word "good". Think of the relief on the internetz when that new version of The Birds didn't take flight. See, Alfred Hitchcock is not like so many great auteurs of yore that today's audiences aren't familiar with. If there is any classic Hollywood director that contemporary mainstream audiences still 'get,' isn't it Hitchcock? The latest of his features someone wants to remake is Rebecca (1940). Maybe there should be a law against remaking Best Picture winners? I do not trust anyone in 2012 with "Mrs. Danvers". Back away from the apparitional lesbians*!

Hey, Let's Keep Making Vampire Pictures!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood worry about bankrolling trends long past their sell-by date? While it's true that vampires never go completely out of style they do sometimes hibernate, burrowing deep into the ground until they're ready to engage again (a la The Vampire Lestat), in terms of pop culture popularity. So after two plus decades of vampire madness doesn't it seem like that bubble could burst at any moment and someone will lose bazillions of dollars? As far as I can tell 2012 and 2013 are already so stuffed with vampires onscreens both large and small that eventually audiences will be wearing garlic when they approach the TV or multiplex. But they've decided to make another one called Harker in which Jonathan Harker is no longer a Keanu Reeves like lawyer but a Russell Crowe like investigator for Scotland yard.

Hey, Let's Adapt Movies No One Saw Into Broadway Shows That Are About Famous Musicians Whose Songs We Don't Have the Rights To!
Remember that biopic about John Lennon's pre-fame years called Nowhere Boy? It had one of those long torturous 'what year does this film belong to' releases 'round the world but never caught on. It's the film that introduced us to Aaron Johnson (Kick Ass, Albert Nobbs) who we now seem to be stuck with. It also introduced him to director Sam Taylor Wood and they're happily co-habitating and child-rearing three years later. But I'm losing the point. One of the distracting things about the movie, which made narrative but not emotional sense was the absence of Beatles. Now moneyburning people are adapting it into a Broadway musical. Who pray tell would spend $100+ a ticket to see an original musical about the founding members of the Beatles that is not a Beatles jukebox** musical???

*Nick introduced me to the term apparitional lesbians. I'm forever grateful because it's so damn useful. And fun to say. Try it.

** I hate jukebox musicals. I'm not suggesting someone should make one here, just that that's what audiences would want if they went to a show about John Lennon.

You Better Werk... And Link

Yahoo Movies! I talk Best Actress with a bunch of other internet peeps.
FourFour & The Daily "The Tao of Ru" and outtakes from Rich's week (!!!) with RuPaul, the world's most famous drag queen of all time. 
EW Gary Ross gets ahead of himself saying Jennifer Lawrence should be Oscar nominated for Hunger Games. Er... shouldn't we see even one of her competitors first, let alone dozens. It's... February! 
THR on Brad Pitt's Daily Show proposal for a new Oscar competition system "Hands on Oscar." This was fun last night. I ♥ Brad. I don't know if you know that about me. [Yes, I know you know that about me.]

You know what I think they should do? We should just put a trophy on the table, like one of those car contests, we should all just put our hands on it and see who can hold it the longest. And the last man standing takes the trophy! Hands on the Oscar”

Rope of Silicon Russell Crowe wanted for Noah in Darren Aronofsky's Noah's Ark. What's with Crowe being suddenly in demand again? He must have recently expressed interest in getting back to it.
Coming Soon reports that Viola Davis has signed on for two new roles, both book adaptations, Ender's Game and Beautiful Creatures. Strangely the latter is listed as a lead role but given the book description it sounds very much like a small role. Have any of you read the book?

IndieWire speaks up for "7 films you must see this February" 
Playbill You'd think Broadway would eventually get tired of adapting hit films into stage musicals. I mean, many of them flop so it's nothing like a guarantee. But they won't quit. Next up: Back to the Future.
Kenneth in the (212) has an interesting reaction to Madonna's Superbowl interview 
In Contention Kodak taking its name off the Theater O' Oscar? 
Awards Daily reports on the Martin Scorsese tribute at Santa Barbara 
Liz Smith is so right about how the Oscar nominees play the "no, no, I can't" game after their nominations 

A Heart Full of Uh-Oh... Taylor Swift for "Les Misérables"

Last night while innocently checking Facebook, a reader forced me -- literally forced me -- to read unpleasant news, reaching through the screen, yanking my eyeballs out and plopping them right down on this news that Taylor Swift was joining the cast of Tom Hooper's Les Miserables as Eponine.

I said "Don't make me think about THAT!!!". I mean, I'd just shared my top ten list so I was still hooked up to an IV joy drip and he wanted me to focus on THAT. I couldn't do it! THAT would have to wait until tomorrow, I said.

But here we are in tomorrow and THAT is still whatever it is. So let's recap what's going on with the casting of the most important movie musical in the pipeline.

The Three Roles The Whole Thing Rests On
Jean Valjean.......................... Hugh Jackman
Inspector Javert .................... Russell Crowe
Fantine ................................  Anne Hathaway

We know that Jackman and Hathaway have spectacular golden age quality movie musical voices and that all three of these movie stars can really act. That's a crucial thing since Les Misérables is actually an epic weepie and not the more commonly seen musical comedy. If "Bring Him Home" (Valjean) and "I Dreamed a Dream" (Fantine) don't ruin you emotionally, Les Miz will lose 87% of its dramatic potency.

Crowe? Have we heard him sing outside of rock music? Hooper is supposedly NOT doing this musical in the typical way of pre-recording and then lipsynching / acting later on. Instead, or so we hear though it sounds complicated given the chaotic milieu of the story, that the actors will actually be singing while they act. This might make for an electric movie experience (I mean the source material is already great) but who knows.

the rest of the cast after the jump

Click to read more ...

I Googled "Les Miz Songs" For A Title To This Post

... so pretend it's called "I Dreamed A Dream... of Music!" or something thereabouts. Be creative, in the wake of my early morning total lack thereof. JA from MNPP here. As I made horrifically clear to everyone back when we played “Make Me Watch A Musical” a couple of years ago, I have… well, it’s more than a blind spot, more like a black hole when it comes to movie musicals. It’s been awhile since then and I haven’t much improved my standing with the genre, either. I’ve seen several of the Busby Berkley musicals and I really enjoyed them (Team Blondell! Ruby Keeler can suck an egg!), but then I suffered though – suffered being the operative word – Funny Girl to see who this Barbra Streisand character everybody talks about is all about and wow, not for me! I say this not to offend you Barbolytes (Streisfans? Babsilonians?) but to make it clear how Byzantine my pathologies towards the genre are. There’s no rhyme or reason. 

Which is why I find myself writing this post today. A couple of years ago, Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway lit up the stage at the Oscars, and me along with most of the rest of you lit up alongside it. What a hoot! And now they’re reuniting to make a musical, which is totally something I would watch.  They have charisma that captivates me. The musical is Les Misérables, to be exact. My familiarity with Les Miz can be summed up by this post here. That’s the honest truth. Totally clueless. I’ve never even read Hugo’s book. The French Revolution is involved? Maybe somebody steals some bread? I don't know.

So I want a lesson. I’m asking you musical lovers to tell me what I need to know going into this. Gimme "The Gospel of Les Miz According To TFE Readers." How right or wrong is Hugh Jackman for the part he’s playing? How about Russell Crowe? And lovely Anne, can she be a Fantine, whatever the hell that is? Who could you see playing the parts better? And what about all the other roles, who would you cast? What are they going to have to do to adapt the source into a successful movie? I don’t know! I am asking you!



"Link, I Am Your Father"

This doesn't need an entire post to itself but if you haven't heard you should know that SHAME, the eagerly awaited Hunger follow up from visionary Steve McQueen will open on December 2nd. That's the one that stars the naked raw talents known as Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan. Yay! I'd tell you that I'm seeing it this week but the press screenings at NYFF this year have been more difficult than in past years... so I plan to see it this week.

LINKS
Rope of Silicon has first pic of Russell Crowe as Superman's father in Man of Steel. I get why the capes are that muted color but it's still weird to think of SuperPeople with muted color palette costumes.
Movie|Line Awesome inimitable director/personality Werner Herzog will play the villain in the Tom Cruise vehicle One Shot. As TFE's unsung hero Michael put so well on twitter "The only thing that would make that Werner Herzog news cooler is if he's playing Werner Herzog."
Hollywood and Fine  on the shifts of star generations and how that plays into The Ides of March with Ryan Gosling vs. George Clooney. It's a smart piece though some of the claims are suspect (like DeNiro and Pacino still having great work in them...uhhhh)  
MNPP Luke Evans Seven Times 

The House Next Door Jaime N Christley is a dissenting voice on Mexico's critic's darling Miss Bala 
Frankly My Dear.... War Horse newbie Jeremy Irvine already has his follow up picture. He'll be in the umpteenth Great Expectations adaptation. This one for director Mike Newell.

Vanity Fair Johnny Depp is the new cover boy and apparently he hates being photographed (uhhhh) and he says yes to all the stupid money for his kids (Uhhhh... what kids need $300 million dollars? Isn't becoming  a hack really for your kid's kid's grandchildren at this point? $300 million for the Pirates franchise alone.) Unsolicited advice: Take a challenging role soon, maybe by a new visionary writer/director who nobody would think to bankroll without you, do it for scale and rediscover your gift. Just sayin'. 
Antagony and Ecstasy Mr Brayton, one of the best critics on the net and a twentysomething cancer survivor, reviews the twentysomething cancer comedy 50/50.

Today's Recommended Watch
The making of that infamous nippley The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo poster set to the film's score.