Beam Shohreh up, Scotty!

Manuel here. Here's one way to pique my interest about a film I was totally indifferent if not outright hostile to. Cast Shohreh Aghdashloo. In case you hadn't heard, the Oscar nominated actress has been added to the upcoming Star Trek sequel, Star Trek Beyond.  If you're wondering, Wait, doesn't that come out later this summer (July 22) and shouldn't they have wrapped production already? you would be correct. The film is adding a character (the High Command of the Federation played by Aghdashloo) in a series of reshoots planned for this week.

This won't be Aghdashloo's first brush with threequel high-octane blockbusters: she played scientist Kavita Rao in the dreadful X-Men: The Last Stand. Can we hope that, pre-production scuffles and last-minute reshoots aside, Star Trek Beyond will at least be a more satisfying trilogy capper than that Bret Ratner misfire?

More importantly, will someone finally listen to us and assemble, Avengers-style, all the actresses doing thankless roles in summer box office hits into an Expendables-like franchise? Think: Glenn Close (Guardians of the Galaxy), Winona Ryder (Star Trek—we'll retcon her [spoiler]), Laura Linney (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows), Patricia Clarkson (The Maze Runner) all band together to... I don't know, fight sexism in the industry with Viola Davis (Suicide Squad) at the helm? I mean, I'd watch that, wouldn't you? In the meantime, we should be happy that Aghdashloo will join the Trek universe and that it means casting directors have her in mind for future roles worthy of her talent and beauty.

Yes No Maybe So? Captain America: Civil War

Let's just get right to this one okay? I have a Pavlovian YES response to all Captain America sightings but let's do our duty and breakdown the trailer for levels of anticipatory glee and nerves, shall we? 

This job. We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn't mean everybody. But you don't give up. 

Yup, I'm in. Pairing Captain America's savior complex with this image of his beloved, Bucky, still looking first appearance dangerous is a smart move. Instant emotional hook.

No. But then we're watching clips of three different past movies. "Previously on..." retreads aren't fun. At least pretend you're a movie instead of the most expensive and and shortest-seasoned TV show of all time.

New York (The Avengers). Washington (Winter Soldier). Sokovia (Age of Ultron)

Maybe So. Still, the good Captain speaking up when he sees Scarlet Witch's reaction to memories of Sokavia is so warming. Shut those disaster porn clips down. Hero. 

No. As it turns out, Iron Man and the government want to keep the superheroes in check because of all the collateral damage... all those cities falling while they tried to save the world. Which is kind of how the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice trailer plays out too with Man of Steel city-levelling guilt informing the plot. Here's a tip for screenwriters of superhero movies: don't strive for realism. People are already flying and using magic and not dying when the Hulk punches them and such. Suspension of disbelief is required to enjoy ourselves. If you ground it too much by telling us city-wide body counts and such it won't be any fun. 

No. Tony Stark says he wants to punch Steve Rogers in his perfect teeth. The correct want is to kiss him on his perfect mouth. They argue.

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Strike a Poster

It's always boggling to consider how many people's noses a poster has had to pass under in order to get approved, and how they still are often more abysmal than you could have imagined. The floating head syndrome, men with their back to the camera, or a couple back to back are the usual unimaginative posters that fly by. But this week we seem to have been treated to three posters that have gone above and beyond the call of duty to be really really stupid.

Three disasters for three genres (horror, fantasy, dance) after the jump...

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Charlize Theron Plays Fast & Furiosa With Her Action Star Potential

Daniel here. If your Charlize senses have been tingling lately then it’s fair to assume your road rage has set in: Variety reports that Universal is circling Imperator Furiosa herself to star as the lead villain in Fast 8, the latest model in their rubber-burning line of Fast & Furious flicks. 

Gallons of credit go to this high-octane franchise for encouraging onscreen diversity and staging sky-is-the-limit set pieces, sure, but just because Charlize Theron can drive, it doesn’t mean she needs to take your wheel.

The main attractions in a Fast & Furious are smash ‘em up automotive melees with basic visuals broken up by character-light screeds on the true meaning of family; you’ll find none of Mad Max: Fury Road’s kinetic wizardry or redemptive arcs. Pitting their rogue gallery of villains against Charlize Theron is like straight-up reaching for the wrong Ben & Jerry’s pint. Jason Statham or Luke Evans’ unhinged, kitchen sink nutsos are more Everything But The… whereas her slow burn Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz charisma sneaks up on you before you realize your heart’s about to explode.

Surely we can find a better action franchise for our feminist warrior to throttle into high gear. And, yes, options are aplenty.

• ALIENS. The logical place to start is unfortunately a moot point. The Aliens series already had their chance for another fearless Ripley type in Ridley Scott’s underrated franchise refraction Prometheus, where you’ll remember (or not) that she was relegated to playing comatose corporate ethics incarnate, Meredith Vickers.

• BOND. Although her co-star Idris Elba is everyone’s favorite hypothetical James Bond, it’s a safe bet that she could outsmug Craig, outdrink Connery, and outlast Lazenby. 

• MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Let’s relieve Tom Cruise of jet-hugging duty and let Agent Charlize hunt down snipers at the opera in Mission: Impossible.

At the very least, she’s a shoo-in for that rumored all X-chromosome Ocean’s Eleven. Which action franchise should Charlize Theron anchor instead of Fast 8?

Fantastic Beasts Behind the Scenes

Manuel here. We talked briefly a while ago about Eddie Redmayne's dapper outfit as Newt Scamander in JK Rowling's upcoming Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. We got a teaser shortly thereafter and now, we've gotten some behind the scenes footage of the Harry Potter spinoff that fleshes out a bit more about what we can expect from this franchise prequel.

The film follows Scamandar, a famed British Magizoologist who arrives in New York City in the 1920s with a suitcase full of fantastic beasts some of whom escape, putting the necessary plot into motion. Joining him are a pair of wizarding sisters (played by Katherine Waterstone and Alison Sudol) as well as a muggle (Dan Fogler, perhaps the most curious casting of them all) — together they must... well, it's unclear still. I'm guessing they'll have to wrangle the beasts back into the suitcase? We're still in teaser territory so maybe we shouldn't worry about that yet.

You can watch the entire video below but I've isolated four moments that caught my attention.

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