Is Jeremy Irons Put 'Out to Pasture' as Pennyworth?

[Editors Note: I am pleased to welcome new contributor Diana Drumm to The Film Experience. The benefit of fresh voices? They often have subjects to opine on that we haven't run into the ground already here at TFE. Like this consideration of Jeremy Irons, late in his career. Enjoy! - Nathaniel]

Last week, the internet announced, buzzed and trounced the news of Jesse Eisenberg signing on to play Lex Luthor in the upcoming Batman vs. Superman. (Insert maniacal mastermind Mark Zuckerberg joke.) Less buzzed about, but part of the same announcement, Jeremy Irons is set to play Alfred Pennyworth. Seriously. Jeremy “Scar is an unknowing introduction to masochism” Irons. Brushing aside millenial Disney hang-ups, Jeremy Irons is a glorious figure of bygone British manhood and Alfred Pennyworth is... A different sort of bygone British manhood. 

Lithe yet powerful, languid yet vital, vulnerable yet undeniably masculine. As an actor, Irons’s performances take on a seductive quality, with an earnest veneer covering an implicit rascaliness or vice versa or a muddled mix of both. With a bewildered look as powerful as a forceful growl, he (his innate talent, his RSC work, his Oscar) is being wasted.

Not that he’s the first thesp to be called in as a ringer for a blockbuster (or that this is his first time on the merry-go-round -- Eragon, Beautiful Creatures, etc.)...

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Year in Review: The Bad, The Worse, and the Ugly

I used to make a big fuss over my CINEMATIC SHAME list but this year I'm mostly just feeling the love (see also that "most moving" list share). Nevertheless tradition is tradition, so herewith a few dubious "honors" and outright dismissals from the worst of 2013

WORST MAINSTREAM FILMS
One can avoid a lot of dross if you select your own movies rather than have them assigned to you by an editor. But true terror always finds a way. Let's call this a three way tie. Identity Thief is so stuffed with uncecessary scenes and filler -- the stars don't even meet for half an hour! -- it's practically built to be ignored on cable for decades to come while you putter around your house with your phone in hand and your mind entirely elsewhere -- at least until you notice some bright color combination on Melissa McCarthy and chuckle at a line reading or two before instanteously losing interest again.

Unfortunately there's more. The Counselor, Oblivion, Diana, The Lone Ranger, Jodie Foster and more dishonors after the jump... 

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A Beautiful Day To Box Office

I should've gone to a movie today because it's the most instantaneous cure I know for the blues. But I'm too backed up with work. Maybe tomorrow if I'm a good boy for President's Day? Bruce Willis & Jai Courtney's father/son tough guy act for A Good Day To Die Hard topped the Valentine's Weekend as the only "manly" option with several softer options competing for similar demographics. Safe Haven came in third just behind last week's champ Identity Thief. The romzomcom Warm Bodies somehow fended off the other supernatural romance Beautiful Creatures which was surely aiming for the same crowd. Was it the simplicity of the Warm Bodies concept or just its strong word of mouth in a 3rd week?

Or maybe it's those totally chaotic Beautiful Creatures commercials. What the hell is it? And can we talk about how much the posters for Beautiful Creatures looks like perfume ads!?! Especially Alice Englert's "Lena"... (I hope the bottle looks just like her necklace.)

From the commercials I'm guessing that Emmy Rossum's "Ridley" perfume smells like succulent ham.

What did you see this weekend?

If you saw Beautiful Creatures, spill. Aromatic or rotten? And you think Jane Campion ever expected her baby daughter to go so mainstream so fast?