Beauty vs Beast: Sister City, Sister Bumpkin

JA from MNPP here with today's very special Labor Day edition of our "Beauty vs Beast" series. Whether you're employed crunching numbers and dodging bitchy CEOs in the big city offices of Moramax or you've opted for the more laidback homey halls of the Hollowmade factory down in Jupiter Hollow, West Virginia, I hope we can all take a breather from doing the work we love today to unite over one indisputable fact - Lily Tomlin, who is turning 75 today, is a national treasure.

Clearly we've chosen 1988's twin comedy Big Business as this week's theme - as I was eleven and deep in a Bette Midler phase when this film came out I hope you'll forgive me for admitting this movie means a lot to me. (I have previously done an extensive appreciation over at my own site.) Rewatching it for the possibly one millionth time this weekend it's impossible for me to tell if it's actually any good or if it's just so deep-seated inside of me I can't see the forest for the Plaza Hotel.

But man does it make me laugh, and I go back and forth each time between who's funnier: Lily Tomlin as City Rose (slapstick with muffins and dogs in elevators) and Country Rose (Rattlesnake bracelets and water-tight frog asses) or Bette Midler as Country Sadie (Lee Press On Nails and UFOs) and City Sadie (Blood Clots and Tiaras). So I'm making y'all pick!

poll by twiigs.com

Before anybody says anything yes I was torn between doing the poll this way and asking you to choose Country Sisters vs City Sisters instead, but a showdown between the two actresses ultimately won that dispute in my mind. If you'd like to offer up your cases whichever way in the comments though, feel free! You have seven days.

PREVIOUSLY Last week we were wishing Sean Connery a happy birthday by dipping our Goldfinger into the James Bond pool, and sure enough it's that wascally secret agent who floated to the top with a whopping 77% of the vote. Said Henry:

"Seriously? Put Bond against Bond or Villain against Villain and you might have a fight, but there is no way a Bond can lose against anyone but an equal and Bond has no equals."

An Open Letter, Some Linkage, Blurry Photos

The Dolby Theater was quick about getting 12 Years a Slave up in their awesome atrium of Best Picture winners in Hollywood. I stared at that so much while I was in LA, trust. But naturally it must prompt my annual outrage again.

Dear, Internet. If the Academy themselves understand that we just watched the 2013 Oscars, so can you! - Love, Nathaniel R

This is really all the IMDb's fault and then Google, too. Now virtually everyone except the Oscars and The Film Experience calls the Oscars by the wrong year, which will wreak so much havoc at future trivia nights and in every way of documenting film history. I have a friend who did really great work on several Wikipedia pages and people kept trying to change his dates to the wrong year so now it's a mess of conflicting pages. This madness must stop. Cate Blanchett is not the Best Actress of 2014... (at least not yet. Will Carol be ready in time?). She's the Best Actress of 2013. The Oscars aren't like a Beauty Pageant where you get a title andtour the country for the following year before you pass on the tiara. It's not like that. It's for a movie you did. Pretending that Cate is the Best Actress of 2014 puts you in People's Choice territory where people just win prizes even if they sat at home that year but are still popular. It's not really territory you want to be in. 

Five completely random links (more time to catch up what's happening elsewhere tomorrow)

• Vanity Fair on their Oscar Party 
• Daily Mail on that pizza guy and the tipping situation at the Oscars
• Buzz Feed if John Travolta had to pronounced other people's names at the Oscars
• Vulture Pharrell's Happy performance gifs of the stars joining in. This was SO smart to include so early in the show. The energy was perfect. 
• Vanity Fair [LONG READ] I bookmarked this story about trying to find out what happened to the real "Patsey" from 12 Years a Slave and I haven't had time to finish it yet but it's totally an interesting subject. I WILL carve out time to read it this week and so should you. 

After the jump my favorite blurry photos I took of my TV last night. But why blurry photos, you ask?

Click to read more ...

11 Days Til Oscar. Bette Midler & Original Song

Bright and early this morning they announced that Bette Midler will be performing at the Oscars for the first time. That's shocking to type since she's had so many great movie musical moments in her career and she's obviously been to the Oscars as a nominee or to present. But, alas, her material was generally not original* and thus unnominated in the one category that regularly prompts performances.

Though it seems highly likely that they'll have her as underscore songstress for the In Memoriam visuals (zzz. Love that segment but it's never about the singer so they're interchangeable... something you can't usually say for Bette Midler) It's more fun to fantasize about recreating one of her musical moments from a movie on the main stage. So... vote!

poll by twiigs.com

* A Shocking Memory
Yes, it's true. The classic "The Rose" from The Rose (1979), written by Amanda McBroom, was NOT nominated for Best Original Song even after winning the Golden Globe. It was not expressly written for the movie though it had never been recorded before that point -- the same tragic reasons for disqualifications as Moulin Rouge!'s "Come What May". That category has been fucking us over for decades - this year's controversy was the least of it, really. The ideal song line up for 1979, an unusually good year for the category, would have probably would have been some combination of the two lists since the Oscar winner "It Goes Like It Goes" from Norma Rae, unnominated at the Globes, is also lovely.

But when you remember that "The Rainbow Connection" was nominated at both awards shows and lost twice, the point becomes moot. Truth: that eternal classic deserved multiple Oscars. An Oscar for 1979 and then an Oscar for every random year thereafter that failed to produce a worthy nominee. As an encore, you know? 

What would you have voted for?

I hope you've been enjoying the Countdown to Oscar! We're having so much fun with it so please check out any episodes you missed. Remember this truth: Comments are fuel for more blogging. 

Previously
12 Days - A twelve-wide Best Picture field!!! What does 1934 tell us about "Oscar slots"? 
13 Days - Matthew McConaughey and 2000's Best Actress Race?
14 Days - All About Eve vs. Titanic. The two all time nomination leaders face off!
15 Days - Supporting Oscar Chart fun "how were they nominated?"
16 Days - Irene Sharaff's 16 nominations 
17 Days - Looking back at The English Patient, Sal Mineo... and 1917?
18 Days - Meryl Streep's 18th nomination. Like whoa
19 Days - Julianne Moore's awards history
20 Days - Flashback '93: Age of Innocence, Farewell My Concubine, The Piano
21 Days - What's your favorite Billy Wilder? 

Open Thread

We haven't done one of these in so long. Here's an open thread so tell us: What's on your cinematic mind?Any movie topic is welcome. I'm cooking up some things for you to take us through the Oscars and into March -- I think you're going to love March and April if you stick around so please do.

I myself keep fantasizing about this version of Frozen they were thinking of with a Bette Midler style Elsa. Just try to imagine it... Suddenly "Let it Go..." is a comic diva number of some sort and "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" gets turned into a bitchy retort duet.

Accidental Rewatches: Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus has been on the telly a lot lately. I guess that means it's October? I started to watch but Bette Midler forced me away with her insane voicework. I swear every other word in every line of her dialogue she treats like it's the climax of the sentence AND the movie. It's just impossible to listen to. Good grief that movie is noisy.

And so much mugging! I'm surprised I still had a wallet by the time the credits rolled.

Remember when Sarah Jessica Parker was a silver screen sex symbol? That girl has had so many acts in her career. The comic but non-ironic sex symbol years were inbetween the memorable TV personas from the early Square Pegs geekery and the Sex and the City Mega-Icon status. Let's call it the "SanDeE*" years. What a strong stretch that was for her. So many enjoyable performances in mostly good films: L.A. Story, Ed Wood, Honeymoon in Vegas, Til There Was You, Miami Rhapsody, Mars Attacks!, The First Wives Club. 

Do you think her career has a fourth act in it?

But back to Hocus Pocus... when was the last time you watched it? And do you think the remake/sequel idea that was floated last year is ever going to happen?