The Spy Who Crunched Me

by Jason Adams

Hey! Eyes down here! Thank you. Yesterday came news that the long-rumored sequel-of-sorts to David Cronenberg's 2007 film Eastern Promises was gaining some momentum... and that momentum was taking it straight towards the above-splayed abdominal muscles of one Jason Statham. Should we all be so lucky. And I think you can tell already that I'm hoping this film exists solely for a re-do of Viggo's balls-out sauna-brawl, just subbing in Jason, so we'll just go ahead and get that out of the way upfront. Say hello to our upfront business! 

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Hobbs & Shaw: The Daddyness of It All

By Sean Donovan 

The Fast & Furious films have become some of our most trusted purveyors of pure Hollywood excess, concocting outlandish set pieces and barely logical heist plots that deliver thrills in big bold screaming letters, with an automative fetish that has been worth billions of dollars. But this spin-off, focused on two characters who joined mid-franchise, re-prioritizes the car fetish in favor of two male stars (and a third new one) whose bodies and larger-than-life macho personas are fetish objects in and of themselves. I have been affectionally naming this film ‘Daddy Fight’ ever since I first saw the trailer, for indeed that is what it is- gladiatorial combat to see who among Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, or Idris Elba will emerge as Daddy. The result is, quite simply, one of the most triumphant adrenaline-fueled homoerotic explosions in recent memory...

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Review: The Meg

by Chris Feil

Summer is for sharks at the multiplex and 2018 is no different. Recent highs include Blake Lively’s solo survival rendezvous with The Shallows and the lows have been last year’s spiteful low-fi 47 Meters Down. This year we get the highest concept and machoest of them all with The Meg, an amalgam of batshit tidied up into the most convincing guano bowl it can muster. But that’s fine, because witless mayhem is why you showed up in the first place. For something insane however, it isn't the whole hog disasterpiece of your schadenfreude fantasies.

And what do the shark invested waters have in store this time? Basically... a bigger shark. Consider it Mega-Shark Vs. Giant Sourpuss because we've got noted mean mugger Jason Statham at the head of this amusement ride...

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The Fast and I'm Furious: Ranking every film in the franchise

by Spencer Coile 

Dating back to 2001 with the premiere of The Fast and the Furious, the Furious franchise has become something of a centerpiece of the action genre. Watching the shenanigans of Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, and company across the span of seven films in sixteen years is quite the rollercoaster ride of quality. Ranging from the good, the bad, and the ugly, it is especially interesting to note the progression of the film series; they initially started as mindless entertainement to... well, even more mindless entertainment, but with some awe-inspiring action sequences with a blatant theme of family and togetherness. Even after the death of Paul Walker, the franchise continues. 

In preparation for the latest foray into the canon, the eigth film (they aren't all numbered) The Fate of the Furious, I decided to sit down with each of the seven preceding movies and evaluate each on their own merits, but also how they function in the series as a whole. I'd seen a whopping zero of them before this marathon! How many have you seen?

Ranking the Fast and the Furious Franchise...

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Halfway: Best Supporting Performances of 2015 Thus Far

½way mark - part 6 of ?
While it was a great deal of fun choosing and articulating the Best Leading work of the year (thus far) at the halfway mark, the Supporting fields prove a more difficult task. This is not exactly the norm as movies tend to have more supporting role than leading ones. But -- grossly generalizing now -- a lot of movies underuse their supporting casts, especially the women. This is particular true of summer blockbusters: Jurassic World and Terminator Genisys, for example, don't even have any supporting females. You're either a male character, a leading female love interest, or you don't exist... except perhaps in cameo form (the eternal plight of one Judy Greer). Either that or the character actors are severely underchallenged. It's easy to feel exceptional warmth for Mary Kay Place in I'll See You In My Dreams or Sally Hawkins in Paddington, for example. Both women are welcome onscreen at any time, terrific actresses, but they're not expected to do much at all other than be a warm and welcoming presence. 

Anyway, let's proceed. 

Supporting Actress: Rose Byrne & Kristen Stewart 

But...that's not playing by the rules which is to choose five performances like you're doing an Oscar shortlist (though these lists should never be mistaken for Oscar Predictions which is a different topic altogether). So let's try again.

Here we go with 4 acting categories after the jump

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