BYO YNMS x 3: Shape of Water, The Snowman, Proud Mary

Having an entirely unproductive day. (It happens). But the trailers are coming fast & furious. Are you a yes no or maybe so on three following pictures. Do tell.

THE SHAPE OF WATER

YES - Sally Hawkins. This could well be magical. 
NO - Guillermo Del Toro tends to be more of a genius in concept than in execution
MAYBE SO - Hate it when trailers show the whole movie. In some ways this feels like a demented fan fiction version of the 10 minutes near the end of Ron Howard's Splash. Is there more to it than this?

THE SNOWMAN

YES - Tomas Alfredson is a very impressive director (Let the Right One In and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) who is pretty great and sustaining tension for a whole running time. He's gathered his usual array of impressive craftsmen in all departments
NO - Is any single subgenre more plagued by violence against women as its ignition or more overworked than the serial killer procedural?
MAYBE SO - How's the chemistry between Fassbender and Ferguson?

PROUD MARY

YAAAS - Taraji P Henson deserves a star vehicle
NO - Like the Kingsman series this looks like a pornographic fetish movie about guns and how cool it is to kill people... which... given the US addiction to guns and explosions in gun massacres each year, is really starting to feel like irresponsible movie behavior.
MAYBE SO - Who knows? This teaser is very very light on anything about the movie though we hear she's an assassin. We're guessing with a conscience. the movies are very obsessed with assassins who have that pre-existing condition.

Beauty vs Beast: The Men In Rosemary's Life

Jason from MNPP here on another Monday afternoon with another round of our weekly "Beauty vs Beast" series - today happens to be the 49th anniversary of my favorite movie Rosemary's Baby. Roman Polanski's masterpiece (one of his several masterpieces) was dropped from beak of the devil's stork into the world on June 12th 1968, a wailing bundle of joy (with its father's eyes) that became the 8th biggest film of the year, scoring over 33 million at the box office (aka 230 million in 2017 dollars, putting it on par with what Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them made last year) and forever giving pregnant woman something shiny and new to worry themselves about. (All of them witches!)

This being my favorite film we've already devoted one of these columns to it - we faced off the womenfolk with Rosemary (Mia Farrow) taking on Minnie (Ruth Gordon) last fall. Gordon won, same as the Oscars. So this time around let's turn our attentions to their respective partners! There's no time like Right Now for "Sleazy White Men Who Think They Own Women's Reproductive Organs" after all, so I give you Guy Woodhouse (John Cassavetes), star of "Nobody Loves an Albatross" and a world-class creep, and Roman Castavet (Sidney Blackmer), door to door Satan salesman. Choose wisely, your womb will thank you...

PREVIOUSLY We took a quick trip to the Moors last weekend to put poor Jane Eyre through the wringer again but in the end Mia Wasikowska came out on top (and who wouldn't want to come out on top of Michael Fassbender) with 58% of your vote. Said Nick T:

"I'm so happy to cheer for Jane. It's a great performance (yay Mia!), and if Jane won't act as her own hype man then I'll happily do it tor her."

Beauty vs Beast: Bad Romance

Howdy, everybody - Jason from MNPP here with a brand new round of "Beauty vs Beast" for you on this first Monday of June. Coming up on this first Friday of June a movie called My Cousin Rachel is coming out (you can watch the trailer right here) that stars Rachel Weisz and Sam Claflin and is adapted from the 1951 book by Daphne du Maurier (who also wrote The Birds and Rebecca). The book was already turned into a movie once in 1952 with  Richard Burton and Olivia de Havilland (which I have never seen; have you?) - anyway it's one of my favorite genres, the overheated gothic romance, brimming with lace and poisons, and I can't wait.

So in the spirit of such things this week we're tackling one of the greatest of all when it comes to these stories - Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre. There are a couple of film adaptations but let's go with the most recent, Cary Fukunaga's 2011 film starring Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender, since I found it a grand adaptation.

PREVIOUSLY We spent last week trapped in that damn cryogenic container so we've got to skip back two weeks to our last competition, which pit the Ellen Ripley of Ridley Scott's Alien against the Ellen Ripley of James Cameron's Aliens. And it was the bigger badder bitchier (her words not mine!) version of the latter who stomped away with 67% of your votes. Said markgordonuk:

"Alien is my favourite movie but the Aliens performance is something else, the looks and glances, the fear, the physicality, the line readings, the no bull attitude, I could go on, such an Iconic performance, everyone knows who Ripley is."

Review: "Alien: Covenant"

This review was originally published in Nathaniel's column at Towleroad

If the famed director Ridley Scott were in art school, his professor would be yanking the paintbrush out of his hand — “it’s perfect, stop adding brush strokes!” His wife probably has to pull spices from his hands as he cooks. If you’ve been playing along with this Hollywood giant’s career you know that he can never leave well enough alone. I’ve lost count of how many “versions” there now are of his early sci-fi masterpiece Blade Runner (1982) and, after years of threats, that film will have a sequel this October, Blade Runner 2049, though Scott opted to pass the directorial reigns over to Denis Villeneuve (Arrival).

Having exhausted returning to that particular sci-fi well, Ridley has moved back even earlier in his career to the film that made him famous, Alien (1979). He’s now directed two prequels to it (Prometheus and now Alien: Covenant) and more films are promised. (Perhaps the controversial ending of 1991’s Thelma & Louise is the only thing that’s kept that film, the third member of his holy trinity of masterworks, free of his tinkering!).

So how’s the new film?

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Tweetweek: Fantasy Boyfriends, Favorite Seasons, Fabulous Divas

Don't pretend like you wouldn't watch a movie in which Jessica Chastain sets Xavier Dolan up w Sebastian Stan and also Naomi Watts is there pic.twitter.com/0b4rokKPJf

— Ryan McPhee (@rdmcphee) March 21, 2017

You must click through every photo of that tweet. That whole moment in watching celebrities be themselves in real time with each other together as fans is funny heaven. "Yay, social media," which is something we can't always say as sane people. 

ANYWAY. More after the jump... 

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