The Not So "Amazing" Spider-Man

originally published in my column at Towleroad

Andrew Garfield hanging about on The Amazing Spider-Man set.

Déjà vu  is an unsettling feeling. You can’t quite place the why and whens of it but you know you’ve experienced whatever this is before. Not so with the reboot of Spider-Man which has been optimistically retitled “THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN” for 2012.  The new webslinging film arrives only five years after Spider-Man 3, that final sour note in Sam Raimi’s otherwise sweet trilogy. This déjà vu is easy to place with the “whens” and thus less unsettling if still perplexing on account of the “whys”. We’re back to summer 2002 when Peter Parker first pined for a high school sweetheart, first indirectly contributed to his uncle’s murder, first learned that with great power comes great responsibility, and first swung around a big screen Manhattan in his iconic red and blue spandex.

Franchises are the comfort food of the movies and though there’s nothing wrong with comfort food beyond its lack of nutritional value, so much depends on the delivery when it comes to the familiar pleasure. The Amazing Spider-Man spins its title card with webbing very swiftly which leaves you hoping for a zippy entertainment with key twists on the mythos to keep you engaged. But after a new corporate thriller prologue featuring Peter Parker’s heretofore unseen parents the movie settles into excessively familiar story beats. We’re forced to wait out the entire numbing origin story again and relive many story beats from the 2002 origin story, with the only major exclusions being the absence of Parker's employment at The Daily Bugle (weird) and no James Franco shaped obstacle to his girl’s affections. Other than that only the names of the major characters have changed: Blonde Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) stands in for Redhead Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) as the love interest Peter likes to photograph; Dr Curt Connors/The Lizard (Rhys Ifans) stands in for Norman Osborne/The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) as the scientist Peter looks up to whose illegal human experimentation (on himself!) wreaks havoc on his mental stability.

Once you start talking to yourself in an out of body "evil" voice, it's just a matter of time until you're a Green Super Villain. More...

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Burning Questions: What's Wrong With An Instant Reboot?

Michael C here to get Spidey's back this Fourth of July.

There used to be a natural life cycle for big movie franchises. It began with audiences thrilling to the sight of Christopher Reeve soaring over Metropolis and ended a few films later with everyone looking away in embarrassment as Superman traded punches with Nuclear Man on the moon. This was followed by a period of mourning long enough for everyone to wonder if the last film was some kind of fever dream, and then and only then could a fresh creative team breathe life into the dormant franchise.

But now, no sooner does Emo Spidey cha-cha his way into an early grave, than the suits decide to shake the etch-a-sketch on the whole show and pretend the last three films never happened. In a world fast approaching franchise over-saturation, with sequels dropping with a frequency normally reserved for Tetris blocks, the idea of a hugely successful series starting over from scratch while the body of the last entry is still warm, feels like a new low in shameless cash-grabbing. 

Time for a new actor to don the mask

But take a step back for a moment, put emotions on hold and ask the logical question: What is so bad about an instant reboot?

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Type @ Me: Leo Drowns, Josh Barks, Nicole Poses

My time has been atypically divided lately and I've missed the social interactions that are part of blogging full time, whether that's rapidfire tweeting or IMing or whatever. So in the absence of your comments (seriously a Les Miz dropping without comments? first time for everything!) I thought I'd share some brief movies notes from friends/readers via text, facebook, twitter and such that made me giggle this past week about topics you just might have been texting your own friends about.

1. Titanic is a really long movie and friends get impatient when you're watching it and are supposed to meet them. 

He forgot to type "Spoiler Alert". 

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2. Readers know from Kidmania. Respect the actressexuality!

Jei Dee is psychic. Love this I do. Honestly I haven't been this excited for a Nicole Kidman performance (Cannes entry Paperboy) since the musical Nine. Not that that one turned out spectacularly well but I'm talking about preemptive enthusiasms. shut up. I loved Nine on stage. What can I say?

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3. One of my friends likes to torture me with incessant Chloe Moretz related messages. Stop it!

I can't keep blogging about the Carrie remake but yes, Julianne's involvement would make it SO CONFLICTING somewhat confusing for me. If only because my Julianne Completism would force me to actually see the sure to be stillborn movie. If you missed the post about why I'm already in hate with the movie, that's here.

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4. The reader poll "who is cuter: Josh Hutherson or his special-needs puppy?" prompted this response which gave me good lolz 

Hee. Weirdly Josh Hutcherson is winning said poll. I guess you're all cat people (yay!)

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5. "Chloe" himself Drew Droege responded to my "nineties" nostalgia article dedicated to him.

Unexpected shout-outs are heartwarming. This was almost as exciting as that time on Oscar night live-blogging when Sandra Bernhardt tweeted me about my strong [ahem] feelings about her snub in the 80s for The King of Comedy. 

Name Dropping for the Finale!

That's all.

We need a dumb catchy word like "sexting" that's about movie texts, don't we? Nothing works. "Flixting"? pues no. Let's come up with one, shall we?

Captain the Second (and Hugo Awards. No, Not That Hugo)

The Hugo Awards for science fiction were announced over the weekend. While they mostly focus on literature, they do have one film prize. And the nominees are...

Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form)
Captain America: The First Avenger, screenplay by Christopher Markus and Stephan McFeely, directed by Joe Johnston (Marvel)
Game of Thrones (Season 1), created by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss; written by David Benioff, D. B. Weiss, Bryan Cogman, Jane Espenson, and George R. R. Martin; directed by Brian Kirk, Daniel Minahan, Tim van Patten, and Alan Taylor (HBO)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, screenplay by Steve Kloves; directed by David Yates (Warner Bros.)
Hugo, screenplay by John Logan; directed by Martin Scorsese (Paramount)
Source Code, screenplay by Ben Ripley; directed by Duncan Jones (Vendome Pictures)

Here's a full list of the nominees if you're looking for reading suggestions. 

The Captain America nomination reminded me that another Captain America film was announced for April 4th, 2014 in case you plan two years in advance for your ticket purchases. Titling this one could be challenging. Imagine it: Captain America: The First Avenger... Two!  Captain America: The Second Avenger? I kid. Obviously they'll just go with Captain America 2... because the Marvel Cinematic Universe doesn't get all Batman/DC creative with their titles.

What excuse will they come up with to get the good Captain's shirt off this time? He doesn't have to do any more super serum transformation. Pity. Bonus points to whoever comes up with the best plot point for disrobal in the comments.

Summer 2013 believes in the intricate body suit

While we're on the future blockbuster topic, after the jump is the summer calendar for 2013 and beyond...

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Yes, No, Maybe So: "The Amazing Spider-Man"

Well, look what we have here. A new Spider-Man suit (and trailer). It's very shiny so that our friendly neighborhood do-gooder doesn't get run over at night. With 147 days until web-slinging commences its time to break this down with our patented Yes, No, Maybe So™ system. 

When I put you on, no one will know I'm not Tobey Maguire

YES
There are various moments within the trailer that get at Peter Parker's intelligence and especially his sense of humor that, let's be honest, the Sam Raimi films kind of skimped on despite their excellence. "You seriously think I'm a cop in a skin tight red and blue suit?"

Love the idea of Spider-Man using his web as a floor to infiltrate a building. You have to keep these things clever since we've seen them so many times.

"I'm in trouble." Casting Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey is a smart move. She's always relatable even in crazy circumstances like "my boyfriend is a webslinging superhero battling a mutated amphibian-man."

Only one villain? And one we haven't yet seen in the Spider-Man films? Such a surprise blessing from Overkill Friendly Hollywood.

MAYBE SO

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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