Warcraft. What were they thinking?

Six questions that trouble me still from the Warcraft screening last week...

What on earth does Glenn Close need the money for?"

For some reason they only hired sexy men to play these monsters

That's just one of many questions I screamed into the abyss whilst watching this expensive, silly, over-stuffed but under-nourished video game adaptation. What's more this was only one of about 7 questions I screamed to which no answers came in a single scene of the movie. I couldn't even begin to tell you what was going on other than it was important enough to precede the climax of the movie. But I'll try. A young sorcerer (Ben Schnetzer) enters some sort of black gooey CGI cube and meets some sort of anthropomorphized supernatural force with sounds just like Glenn Close and finally looks just like Glenn Close as it solidifies and turns to camera upon which she/it/they bestow(s) on the young sorcerer some sort of magic that they've been withholding from some sort of bureaucrat mystics association so that he can return to battle another sorcerer to become "The Guardian" of the world of Azeroth where this all takes place...and that's not even the A plot!

The A plot is slightly less confusing...

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Patrick & Vera conjure up a big opening weekend

Don't be scared, Patrick. It's just money!

While The Conjuring 2 didn't quite equal its predecessor it came close which is saying a lot in this summer of underperforming sequels. It also helped that it's budget was only $40 million so it's already well on its way to profit. Contrast that to Warcraft's $160 million budget with a $24 million opening. Ouch. Still its foreign performance (nearing $300 million) should help it turn a profit. But one is reminded of The Golden Compass, another would be franchise that chose to end on a cliffhanger rather than telling a full story. Despite doing well overseas it never got a sequel.  Maybe let your audience decide if they like your movie before ending with "to be continued..."?

None of the new limited releases did particularly well including our beloved The Fits which earned $16K in just 4 theaters. Even Love & Friendship & The Lobster appear to have peaked last weekend but we'll see if they can hold screens or expand again next week.

Expect a ton of the current movies to lose all oxygen next weekend when probable behemoth Finding Dory swims into town.

arrows indicate gaining or losing screens

TOP TEN WIDE
🔺01 The Conjuring 2 $40.3 NEW 
🔺02 Warcraft $24.3 NEW
🔺03 Now You See Me 2 $23 NEW 
▫️04 TMNT: Out of the Shadows $14.8 (cum. $61) 
🔺05 X-Men Apocalypse $10 (cum. $136.3) )  Review, Podcast
🔻06 Me Before You $9.2 (cum. $36.8) Review
🔻07 Angry Birds $6.7 (cum. $98.1)
🔻08 Alice Through the Looking Glass $5.5 (cum. $62.4) 
🔻09 Captain America: Civil War $4.3 (cum. $396.8) Review
🔻10 The Jungle Book $2.7 (cum. $352.6)

TOP TEN LIMITED
Under 1000 screens. Excluding previously wide. 
🔺01 Love & Friendship $1.5 (cum. $9.5) Review, Podcast
▫️02 The Lobster $991K (cum. $5.1)  Reviewish, Podcast
🔺03 Maggie's Plan $690K (cum. $1.1)  Review
🔺04 Te3n $284K NEW 
🔺05 Weiner $166K (cum. $760K) Review 
🔻06 The Man Who Knew Infinity $161K (cum. $3.1) 
🔻07 The Meddler $135K (cum. $3.9) Review 
🔺08 The Wailing $133K (cum. $551K) 
🔺09 Sing Street $69K (cum. $2.9)  Review, Who's the MVP?, Podcast 
🔻10 A Bigger Splash $60K (cum. $1.8) Reviewish, Podcast
 

WHAT DID YOU SEE THIS WEEKEND? I caught Warcraft (don't judge) and The Conjuring 2 (fun scares and Patrick sings!!!!!) and the Lupita Nyong'o Tony-nominated play Eclipsed (heartwrenching). Busy weekend. 

Swing, Tarzan, Swing! Ch.5: Mike Henry gets his 007 on in the "Valley of Gold"

As we approach the release of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) we're ogling past screen incarnations of the Lord of the Apes...

Tarzan aficianados will cry foul that I've skipped ahead to 1966 in this retrospective but the awesomely named actor Jock Mahoney wouldn't mind. He only made two Tarzan films in the mid sixties... and barely finished those. He got deathly ill on the second, lost 40 lbs during the picture, and couldn't get out of the jungle fast enough. The first of those pictures lost money, too.

You see, in the wake of the phenomenal success of Dr. No (1962), From Russia With Love (1963) and Goldfinger (1964), James Bond was the new #1 adventure hero and Tarzan was old news. The Tarzan franchise took note and tried to combine the two with Tarzan and the Valley of Gold (1966), introducing the closest thing they could find to Sean Connery's swarthy dimpled masculinity: Mike Henry.

Mike Henry was a professional football player with the Los Angeles Rams but he left sports for the actor's life and donned the Tarzan's loincloth.

...Or, should we say his suit.

In addition to introducing Tarzan as a jet-setting perpetually-endangered looker in a suit, this new 007 style adventure also begins with a kitschy mod score over colorful credits, an opening action sequence that's somewhat disconnected from the movie that follows, and an intelligent international criminal with a taste for booby-trapped gifts. So, you know, we're definitely in Bond territory...

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Podcast: Love & Friendship, Neighbors & Apocalypse

Katey is back! Our very pregnant team member returns to discuss a few new movies with Nathaniel, Nick, and Joe and catch up.

Index (43 minutes)
00:01 Katey is back!!!
02:36 Money Monster
11:30 X-Men Apocalypse
23:36 Love & Friendship
31:28 Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
42:05 Goodbyes

You can listen to the podcast here at the bottom of the post or download from iTunes tomorrow. Continue the conversations in the comments, won't you?  

Neighbors 2, Apocalypse, Love & Friendship

Swing, Tarzan, Swing! Ch.4: Gordon Scott's 'Great Adventure'

As we approach the release of The Legend of Tarzan (2016) we're ogling past screen incarnations of the Lord of the Apes...

Though old franchises like Tarzan are sometimes less visually sophisticated within their eras than our current franchises (probably because the new ones are no longer cheaply produced "B" pictures but Hollywood's main attraction) in one significant way they're vastly superior: they assume the audience doesn't need a perpetual origin story and will remember who the character is from film to film.

Consider this: With Gordon Scott, we are three actors into the Lord of the Apes (within the "official" series) and with his fourth feature film go at the character Tarzan's Greatest Adventure (1959), we're twenty-one films into the franchise and they have not once felt the need to retell (or even really tell at all) Tarzan's origin story. After twenty-one films! Imagine it. Origin stories are a waste of time. You don't need to perpetually relive them, *COUGH Batman and Spider-Man*, because your audience already knows them by heart.  [more...]

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