Thoughts I Had... While Staring at This Poster for "Nebraska"

Behold the new poster for Alexander Payne's Oscar Bait, 2013 Edition. Thoughts I had... brought to you uncensored as they came to me while staring at it.

• This is why I shave my head.

• Gee, do you think this movie is in black and white? Black and White In Your Face

• Alexander Payne's ERASERHEAD

• DERNHEAD

poll by twiigs.com

• So proud of them for not caving to pressure to campaign Bruce Dern as supporting. Now let's hope they also admit that Will Forte is a lead as well (Fact: Road trip movies about two people travelling together have two leads. See also Thelma & Louise, Two for The Road, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Y Tu Mama Tambien, etcetera) 

• Recently I forced The Boyfriend to watch Alfred Hitchcock's last film Family Plot (1976) and halfway through (he's clearly hating it) whilst Dern is making a confused face onscreen he says "why is everyone in this movie so ugly?"

• The Descendants was Alexander Payne's worst movie (still puzzled by the avalanche of praise if not the Oscar nominations). Can he redeem himself and make another Sideways? 

• When the Best Actor Nominees are announced, if Dern is among them, I promise to mock up all their movie posters like this just for comparisons sake: PROFILE vs. PROFILE!!!

• How many people do you think type in urls when they see websites listed at the bottom of movie posters or at the end of trailers?  NebraskaMovie.com 

Your Thoughts?

P.S. Oh and the movie's new trailer

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at this Image from "Maps to the Stars"

David Cronenberg's Maps to the Stars (2014) just released this image featuring Sarah Gadon and Julianne Moore. 

my thoughts presented to you in order they appeared...

• I welcome a good scalp massage but I'm not sure I'd want one in the context of a David Cronenberg movie. Too many orifices!
• My visine drops repulse me this morning. Drip this movie on my eyeballs RIGHT NOW
• Is Sarah Gadon the new _________ ?
• This is Sarah Gadon's fourth movie directed by someone named Cronenberg.
• Do Father & Son Cronenberg have some sort of sick threeway relationship going on with her straight out of a Cronenberg movie? Do they tie her up with rubber hoses and talk dirty about her mutant vagina?
• Sarah Gadon does the most amazing blank face acting. She's beautiful, sure, but the beauty is blonde generic. And yet... her face is unsettling in its robotic disinterest (Cosmopolis), society frivolity (Belle), pregnant concern (Enemy) or weird ball-and-chainery (A Dangerous Method)
• I have guilt for skipping Brandon Cronenberg's Antiviral
• Will Julianne Moore remember what it means to be an auteur vessel after all these disappointing or at least non-challenging movies of late? It's been a long time since the Haynes days
• I have touched Julianne Moore twice (handshake 2002 / hug 2010) but she was not naked on a table
• If you touch Julianne Moore's ginger locks, all your wounds are healed. True fact. Sarah Gadon will live to be 100.
• Sarah Gadon plays a character named "Clarice". Julianne Moore surely winced every time she spoke the name.
• I keep forgetting what this movie is about but I like to be surprised so don't tell me!

Thoughts I Had... While Staring at Promo Images for "Edge of Tomorrow"

This movie used to be called All You Need is Kill but in the grand tradition of Hollywood, any unusual title MUST degenerate/mutate into a generic one before release. See also John Carter of, No He's Not From Mars! or Cop Gives Waitress Two Mi-- It Could Happen To You! and thousands of other movies before them...

Tom Cruise having his "get away from her you, bitch" moment?

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Thoughts I Had... While Staring at New Images from "The Counselor"

Two newish stills from The Counselor recently surfaced

When I saw this one all I could think was Michael Fassbender IS Scott Summers/Cyclops. But, uh, that's not right. They'd have to recast his franchise by messing with the timeline. X-Men: Days o Fassy: Days of Future Past.

The second image of Cameron Diaz and Penélope Cruz calls for a poll!

poll by twiigs.com

previous polls / previous random thoughts

Thoughts I Had... While Looking at the Nymphomaniac Teaser

A day or two ago I casually linked to the first poster for Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac though this flippant "oh and..." way of dealing with it doesn't do its succinct brilliance justic. So, it gets a whole post.

• Classic Lars pranksterism
• Although... does Lars love or hate Charlotte Gainsbourg's punani? This is difficult to suss out. I mean he obviously hated it in Antichrist (rusty scissors anyone?) but despite this tagline "Forget About Love" this strikes me as a very affectionate nod to Charlotte's private parts
• Best use of the parenthetical since Me and You and Everyone We Know

))<>((
Back and Forth Forever

• Pedro Almodovar probably already has this poster framed... (The Shrinking Lover anyone?)
• I don't see how this would work for a matching penis poster. No, I was not just trying to figure that out on my keyboard. Shut up.
• There's been a lot of talk about "real sex" rather than simulated sex on the set of this movie but we heard that before with Lars von Trier's The Idiots and he actually used body doubles for that so who knows if the starry cast (Shia Labeouf, Willem Dafoe, Connie Nielsen, Jamie Bell, Udo Kier, Stellan Skarsgård, Uma Thurman, etcetera) are being spared the grunt work (get it, "grunt" work? no, never mind) 
• Remember when Charlotte Gainsbourg was married to Heath Ledger in I'm Not There and how great she was in their scenes together? She's so undervalued as an actress but at least Lars gets her.
• In real life Charlotte is married to Yvan Attal who once made a picture co-starring Charlotte in which they played "Yvan" and "Charlotte" called My Wife is an Actress. The plot involved him worrying about her being unfaithful on set. I demand a sequel that takes place during the shoot of Nymphomaniac.