I Was Tricked Into Seeing "Baywatch"

by Sean Donovan

Of the men currently dominating American movie box offices, few are more men than Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron. And by this I don’t mean to praise or value anything specific in their incarnations of masculinity, rather I mean that when one watches Dwayne Johnson or Zac Efron, it’s as if they are working at every fraction of a second to scream in reminder to you “I AM A MAN! I HAVE MUSCLES! I AM STRONG! I EAT MEAT! I PROVIDE FOR MY WIFE AND CHILDREN!” It’s a function of the danger men in real life often pose that masculinity isn’t something we can easily mock or laugh at.

Not so with Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron (and to a lesser extent Chris Hemsworth). Masculinity is rarely sillier than in a Dwayne Johnson movie, the actor’s mind-boggling physique dominating every frame, each new performance somehow more muscled and over-the-top than before. Johnson’s instagram is a running tribute to the inflated absurdity of his sweat-drenched lifestyle. Efron, though not as fully the author of his own image as Dwayne Johnson, has found his greatest performances in Neighbors and its equally great sequel, where he plays up an arrogant frat-boy shtick, with peeks to the insecurities underneath, to absolute comic gold. Both allow us to look at hyper-masculinity as something laughable and campy, a cathartic moment we rarely get elsewhere.

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Mid-Year Report: Blockbuster Bombs - Why Did They Flop?

by Séan McGovern

If 2017 is showing any consistency in audience tastes over the last few years it's that no amount of star power, budget or marketing gimmicks can force audiences to buy tickets, with news that the US Memorial Weekend was the lowest grossing since 1999. I've been told variances of the rule that for every production budget on a bockbuster, you can expect the marketing budget to be half if not equal to that - meaning that managing to break even is still a loss.

The year is noticeable once again for some high profile box office casualties - King Arthur, Ghost in the Shell, Power Rangers, Baywatch, possibly Alien: Covenant and the latest Pirates of the Caribbean, which regardless of its #1 spot at the Box Office has a budget of $230m (!) to recoup and turn into profit.

There is plenty of speculation that the way we watch films is contributing to the losses, but how to explain Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy and the Marvel Universe - huge financial successes that tick many of the same boxes as the recent failures? If we like to believe that audiences are more selective or that we truly consider the reviews, then why do the Transformers films keep getting made? (seriously please someone explain)

Full figures (and reader speculation welcome) after the jump...

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What are you up to this weekend?

This Memorial Day Weekend isn't on fire at the movies. Nobody much cares about Baywatch (which is neither exciting like an action movie or funny like a comedy, but can still be amply defined as an "action comedy") and a new Pirates of the Caribbean is getting only the usual flock of lemming moviegoers for an established franchise and no one else. This is, by a very wide margin, the worst opening for a Pirates sequels. Elsewhere in sequel land the news isn't much better. Alien Covenant is the least popular Alien film yet if you adjust for inflation (and dont count those Predator crossovers because why would you?). Will Wonder Woman turn things around next week for audience interest or is counterprogramming that Big Hollywood rarely does anymore what they actually needed to do this very summer?

In limited release, slightly better news. Two unconventional romcoms are performing pretty well: Israel's 'wedding without a groom' film The Wedding Plan and the unfaithful ole marrieds of The Lovers are still expanding to decent business.

Weekend Box Office (May 26-28)
W I D E	L I M I T E D
1.🔺 PIRATES (5) $62.1  NEW	1. 🔺 THE LOVERS $665K (cum. $1.3) (443 screens)  REVIEW
2. GUARDIANS (2) $19.8  (cum. $333.2) REVIEW	2. LOWRIDERS $539K (cum. $5.1) (334 screens)
3.🔺 BAYWATCH $18.1 NEW (cum. $22.7)	3. NORMAN $503k (cum. $3.0) (324 screens)
4. ALIEN (6)  $10.5 (cum. $57.3)  REVIEW | FRANCHISE	4.🔺 PARIS CAN WAIT $456k (cum. $860k) (70 screens)
5. EVERYTHING EVERYTHING $6.1 (cum. $21.5) REVIEW	5.🔺 THE WEDDING PLAN $311k (cum. $595K | 91 screens)
🔺 = new or added screens numbers from box office mojo

What did you see this weekend? 

Baywatch Superbowl Ad

Manuel here bringing you the one gif from the Baywatch Super Bowl ad sure to make your Monday all that brighter...

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One Link at a Time

The Pool the shelf life of 'the cool girl' is getting shorter. Which actresses will we be told to hate in 2017?
Variety a depressing report about which future movies are being talked about the most on social media. Cars 3 is number 2? Gross
Screencrush here's to the behind the scenes administrators and shooting schedule people. This is hard work. Consider that Doctor Strange is absent for ALL scenes which involve Doctor Strange in Avengers Infinity War (now filming)
The Guardian... is disturbed by this as we all should be. Especially with "ghosting" happening via Rogue One

Variety yet another award for Isabelle Huppert -- this time in Paris. (Speaking of -- I'm so excited to see how Elle and Things to Come fare at the Césars. Those nominations are Jan 25th)
Page Six Are Kiki Dunst and Jesse Plemons engaged now? Fargo brings people together
MNPP Which is hotter "The Rock" or "The Slab" in Baywatch
The Retro Set looks back at Russia House (1990)
Vulture Ben Affleck was embarassed by his love scene in Live by Night so he cut it. He has been so depressed lately, people. What is up with the glum face. It's been since, what, Gone Girl? (Or was it before that?) 
Awards Daily Sasha's favorites of the year 
MCN David Poland's 15 most underrated films of the year from Deadpool (wha--- that seems overrated which is the opposite) to The BFG and Pete's Dragon 

Long Reads
The Hairpin Hitchcock's legacy of possession in Marnie, Vertigo... It affects even our language
Bright Wall Dark Room is Robert Eggers the next great filmmaker? (The Witch which has been mistreated this awards season.)
The Tracking Board examines what went wrong with The Founder's release 

Stage
Guardian La La Land considering stage version
Playbill We knew they were remaking the Murder on the Orient Express movie to be released this year. It's also coming to the stage.
Playbill Nicole Kidman nixes plan to take Photograph 51 to Broadway